What feels good hurts in the end

November was a bad month for blogging. I just didn't feel like trying to get over here and write down my feelings, thoughts, daily going ons & ramblings.
Instead I kept a lot of it all bottled up inside. There were moments when I shared with the twitterverse, but most of the big stuff just got buried deep inside.

Thanksgiving brought a lot of it out into public view and I think it's time I shared.

I hate it when guys lie to me. Not the little innocent white lies. The big stuff.
Oh you have a girlfriend? Oh you asked my friend for her number at that party? But you won't admit it. Ever.
Your failure to admit you're a two-faced jackass doesn't make it go away. It just makes it worse.

Liars.
This is why I won't get involved, have a real relationship or have any desire to get married.

I always get the guys who lie and think I am just too dumb to ever figure out the truth.
Every guy I have ever had feelings for has lied to me. Important stuff.
Some lies were bigger than others, but they all lied.

Even guys I just meet, lie to my face.

I am so over ever giving anyone enough trust to hurt me with lies ever again.

Now, I am not saying that I am without fault.
I've lied. Some big, some small. But I don't go around with a husband/boyfriend/baby daddy acting like they don't exist.

I committed ignorant sins when I was young and dumb.
Mistakes.
But I learned from these and moved on.
I don't continue to repeat my mistakes over and over while acting innocent.

The person who lied to me in a big way, who lead me on and filled me with false hope, who has filled me with large amounts of anger and disappointment, was at the same bar as me last Friday.
He was not supposed to be there. I had not planned on what I would do or say if this happened.
And in fact, I did not know he was there until my friend ran into him when she got there.

**Insert a story involving highschool drama via text messages here.**

The details of what transpired are not the important part. What's important is he portrayed himself as the innocent victim. He continued to lie, as if he was even trying to convince his own self of his lies. To truly believe it was real, not a huge false reality.

So let me break it to you in the simplest terms.

You're a liar and I know all the details now.
Please stop telling me about your "feelings" for me.
They don't actually exist.

In unrelated news, it is expected to snow tomorrow. Snow two years in a row...
I'm kind of hoping God gives me snow for my birthday this year...like he did 5 years ago. That would be awesome. But, if I don't get a white Christmas, I'll consider tomorrow's expected snow as an early gift.

So, that's where I am at...kind of.