Dirt Cheap

It doesn't surprise me that you started coming back around here recently.
Now you want to show interest and act like you care. You want to talk and spend time together, like nothing has ever changed.
You always do this when I start moving on.
It's like you know.
You know when I find someone new and start to repair the damage you've done the past 5 years.
You don't want anyone else to get their hands on my heart.
My pathetic, damaged, runaway heart.
The heart that has your name tattooed across it.
The heart you set on fire and then smashed into thousands of jagged little pieces.

I'm damaged goods because of you.
I can't feel anything, and the moment I begin to feel the slightest emotion I want to run.
You are the reason I run from my emotions.
You are why I get all tense when someone else tries to share their emotions with me.
You are why I am so cynical, dark, untrusting, and broken.

I want to feel things for someone other than you.
I want to be ok with the ideas of marriage and children and not break out in hives when people bring up the subjects.
I want to be able to see someone else when I envision my future.

I don't want to feel so empty and cold anymore.

And here I was, trying to convince my little heart to come home. Learning to handle emotions, and trying to start over in a happy place.
I was beginning to heal and to finally get you out of my head.

And then you come back, and I am not strong enough to stop you.
Now all the emotions, hopes, dreams, desires, memories have come flooding back into my stupid little head. And once again, as I reach for the emergency eject button to escape what I have been working so hard to get myself to accept, I start the battle against myself I am so familiar with. You have ruined my every attempt at a relationship since that cold February day.

I'm back where I was before.

Why couldn't you have stayed in Dallas and just left me alone?